I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
All I want is dick and wine.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
