all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
