I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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