Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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