Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
