Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
