I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
