Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
