I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize