pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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