I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
