I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
