Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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