I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
