Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
