i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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