the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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