So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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