No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
i out mim tonsoeep
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