I want to walk on stilts...naked
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
it was like eating out sand paper
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize