Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
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I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
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I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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