Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
