Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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