you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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