Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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