"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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