she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
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Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
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Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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