fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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