another moral hangover. fuck.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
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We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
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Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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