I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize