I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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