I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
