Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
