well I can't set my house on fire every night
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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