That's intense
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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