he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
