How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
