Do vagina's smell?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
