now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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