I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
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My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
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Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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