i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
