Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
