i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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