he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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