My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
