Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
