you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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