My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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