I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
