but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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