Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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