Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
