if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
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i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
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She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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