Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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