Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
