she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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