either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
