While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
