i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
