It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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