Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he laminated a picture of his dick.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
