did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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