Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Randomize
