problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
