As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize