whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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