Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
