sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
